Following up Sunday’s message on marriage, you should really check out this article in Relevant Magazine. The article tackles one of the biggest problems facing relationships in our generation – the dangerous and disingenious picture painted by the media.
A quote from the article:
The root of any romance today is love, but it wasn’t always so. In past cultures, people came together because their parents arranged it or they wanted to join lands or kingdoms; love was secondary. Today, love is the only thing that matters. This over-emphasis on love is encouraged by media that tells stories, sings songs and writes books about how true love conquers all, is ultimately fulfilling, brings a never-ending wealth of happiness and is rarely marred by significant conflict.
Sure, everyone knows real love doesn’t work this way, but that doesn’t mean those tantalizing (and insistent) images don’t affect people’s hopes for romance—and, in turn, cause disappointment in the mundane drone of the day to day.
“A real relationship is one where you take out the garbage, pay the bills and talk about your kids,” says Reid Daitzman Ph.D., practicing clinical psychologist and CEO of Foursight Game Systems. “A lot of it is really boring. What people don’t realize, though, is that the best day of their lives includes all that boring stuff. Because when people don’t have it, they really miss it. A guy who just had an affair really misses his wife and would love to be back with her talking about trivial things.”
This concept can be hard to swallow when the love media portrays seems more desirable than what is experienced in reality. Shannon Martin, a young, married mom in Connecticut confides: “Romantic movies make you think your relationship is supposed to be so amazing, passionate and exciting all the time. My marriage isn’t like that, and sometimes I wonder if something’s wrong.”
Adults should be able to tell the difference between over-romanticized love and healthy, realistic love. But in actuality, peoples’ lives are beginning to just echo the stories they see onscreen. The problem is, movies usually end just as a relationship is beginning.
In the movies, relationships are always built on strong feelings of passion that never seem to wane. But, of course, in real life, feelings ebb and flow. We all know that some days, feelings seem cold and empty. That is the reason for what Bill and I were saying in Sunday’s sermon: “It is not your love that sustains your promise. It is your promise that sustains your love.”