TIME to Change Your Marriage

I don’t know about you, but I am more aware of time right now than I have ever been. Mainly, I’m aware of how little of it I have.


This isn’t some big, philosophical statement – I’m talking very practically. In the real sense, the “I only have 24-hours-in-a-day sense,” I have never been more aware of how short days really are . . . because my to-do list is so, so long.

It wasn’t always like this. I remember the carefree days of college, when I could stay up as late I wanted and sleep as late as I wanted. And in the middle of the afternoon, if I wanted a nap, I just took one.

Now, days start early and end when I can’t hold my eyes open any longer. Worse still, all of those waking hours are spent rushing and planning and thinking and talking and working like crazy – and there’s never any time and there’s never any quiet time and I never get to spend the quality time with the people who really need my time the most.

Sound familiar? It should – because I’m pretty sure I just described most of you, too.

How did we get so busy?

When did we lose control of our schedules and let our clocks become our Masters?

A few days ago, I posted a blog about repairing your marriage. One thing I didn’t include in the blog post is the issue of T-I-M-E. Think about it – if every marriage is going somewhere, our goal is to point our relationships in the direction of true intimacy, at some point TIME is going to become an issue.

How can I grow closer to my wife if I don’t spend (good) time with her? How can we connect spiritually and emotionally and intellectually if we can’t even get our schedules to connect? And if we never connect in those areas, physical intimacy will never be what it should – assuming that we can even find quality time for that!

My point is, we must be doing wrong when it comes to time, because at least for me, I feel like I’m throwing so much of my time in so many directions that I just don’t have any left for what matters to me the most.

Ephesians 5:15-16 says that God has numbered our days, and He wants you to get maximum impact out of them – both physically and relationally and spiritually. Paul writes:  Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

That underlined sentence literally means “redeeming the time” – getting maximum value out of every opportunity.  But if we get caught up in the urgent and immediate, we miss the opportunity to give the deposits to the things that are really important in life, like our marriage. Our culture will happily steal our time – all of our time will be used up, and we will be no richer for it.

So here’s the questionwhat decisions can you make as a couple to put your time to better use? What opportunities do you need to grasp in order to build your marriage?

Think about a typical day in your life, and make a plan for this week – what is one deposit that you could make this week that would build your marriage in some way?

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